I had a Mole

I had a mole that grew large and became unsightly. It was on my belly (which has also been growing and becoming more unsightly). Two distinct, black dots formed on its head and I grew concerned. My doctor referred me a dermatologist. I waited 2 months to see her, and yet within 10 seconds of inspecting my blemish she advised, “Moles often change; it’s nothing to worry about.”

My father-in-law once had a mole. The dermatologist told him not to worry about it. He’s dead now. Skin cancer. So when this doctor told me not to worry, I worried.

I typed into Google, “Can I remove a mole myself.” It advised to use pineapples or apple cider. Sometimes the internet is full of idiots. Other people said that you can’t just cut it off, because it’s too painful and has a deep root. Sounded like challenge to me.

Do you know what really hurts? Cancer.

So I took a pair of scissors, and sterilised the blades by dipping them in rum. I took a solid swig, to strengthen my resolve. With my left hand I pinched the portion around my mole, as to elevate it and extract a large chunk. Cut it all off– just make it quick. Cancer ain’t going to get me.

My right hand was steady and with three quick snips it was done. I stood before the mirror, a surgeon admiring his handiwork. I cauterized the wound with rum and applied a band aid.

It healed well – but the mole grew back. But it is much smaller now and lighter in tone. No longer are there two black dots staring back at me.

I returned to Google and I re-typed, “Can I remove a mole myself.” I scrolled to the bottom of the comments and wrote, “Stop being a wimp. I cut of my mole and I’m cancer free. Are you?”